Wednesday, May 14, 2008
You just can't win
Just a thought for today- I wonder why people are so concerned about how many kids you have or don't have. It goes both ways. Random people in the grocery store look at me like I'm crazy (serious looks- hard to ignore the looks) and MOST make comments about my kids being "all yours? You've got your hands full!" If I had a dollar for how many times I've heard my hands are full I'd own my own small country. Almost. And then on the other end are the people who say "When are you going to have the next one?" and when I give them a look of terror and shake my head "no" (or if it's in a good moment, my eyes just get really big and I say (calmly) "We're done", do I get the "silence of surprise" like they are disappointed, followed quickly by "Why?". And if I'm super lucky I'll get the "tisk, tisk, you shouldn't use birth control. EVER" (Seriously... heard it.) I have friends who think two kids might be enough for them, and friends who plan on having kids until they physically can't anymore. Which one is right? BOTH of them are, because we do what is right for OUR families. Not the random ladies/men in Vons, not our friends, not our relatives. Now, if you ask me if we are going to have more kids I would tell you. But if you tell me my answer is "wrong", I might pull out my sassy attitude and give you the "what for". Anyone else experience this?
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All the time!!! Seriously... it's pretty annoying. We have two and most people are appalled that I don't want any more at all ever. Then there's dumb comments from my side of the family about how they'd be diappointed if I did decide to have more... annoying!
ReplyDeleteI just had a lady stop me at the dollar store tonight and asked me if they were all mine. She wanted their ages and then she said, "well you're done right?" What the heck?!?!?! I told her I sure hope not (actually we're like 99% sure we are done but I didn't want her to know that).
ReplyDeleteAmen! I always get the "Aren't you going to try for a girl?" No honestly I am not. Or "You have to have one more so you can have your own basketball team" Ummm NO! Until you are paying my grocery bill I don't have to have one more of anything! And I don't even like basketball!
ReplyDeleteAMEN Sister. I had a guy in Utah tell my husband that the reason I had a hard time getting pregnant was because we had waited too long to start our family (you know a whole 25 years old, and that was God's way of letting us know. Normally, I wouldn't have let this idiot bother me but I wanted to "rip him a new one."
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! I got asked just this morning if I was going to have any more. Fortunately, when I said - not unless I adopt, she just said that it was so wonderful to see a large family ... not my typical response, especially since most of this valley is expecting me to be expecting at almost any time .... (I supposed being pregnant for the first three years of my residence might have given them a small reason to wonder - but still!) Thanks for the post - it is absoulutely a decision to be made by the FEC (Family Executive Committee: Husband, Wife, & God)
ReplyDeleteI had Kalisi and Will with me the other day and a woman remarked that it was so nice to see someone "reproduce responsibly"...
ReplyDeleteI told her we were going for 12.
My favorite is when I am shopping at Food Maxx, pushing two baskets and 5 kids in tow all under the age of 6 and they ask, "are they all yours?" My response is, "No, I called up some friends and asked if I could take their kids to the grocery store with me cause it sounds like SOOO much fun!" I mean seriously people. I have also had people say, "Look what God did to you...gave you twins, you poor woman!" Ummm...I think of it as an awesome blessing. And for the record I am not done and still am shooting for 10. But, who knows what this poor body of mine can do. We shall see. I only get bothered by people putting off children for selfish/wordly reasons. As for how many you have, that is btw you, your husband and God!
ReplyDeleteAMEN. I always said I wanted 2 girls and 2 boys but didnt know what order that would work out in. Well I still want a girl. I have 1 girl and 3 boys now. Maybe Im just a better mom for boys. I dont know sometimes. I think if my next one is a girl I will be done. Yes NEXT ONE. I want more. I did say I would go to 6 so hopefully one of those last 2 would be a girl. Whats my chances?
ReplyDeleteon the other hand - I get people asking me all the time, where are the rest of your kids? - they assume I have more and I tell them,so far we've only blessed with these 3.
ReplyDeleteFirst off--I LOVE, LOVE your new blog lay-out!!
ReplyDeleteI get rude comments ALL the time. It used to really bug me, but now I just laugh. People treat me like a freak because I'm 31 and about to have my sixth. Maybe I am a freak, but it's nobody's business, right?
My least favorite comment:
ReplyDelete"is that one a girl?" (refering to Levi)
no...he is a boy.
"OH I'm sorry.....maybe next time."
.....................
The whole "you've got your hands full" I get at least 2 times ANY where I go.
Great post!! Nobody's business but ours! We all have our reasons for the number of children we want/get or don't.
ReplyDelete