Self-esteem

My friend from college recently posted about Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. Lisa is going to have her first girl soon, and is concerned about transferring negative messages about body image to her. I have worried about the same things, myself having body image issues since I was about 12. Looking back at pictures of myself before four kids and country life in a trailer and knowing what I thought about myself then, I could KICK myself for being so stupid. I seriously thought I was fat... whatever. I'm not sure exactly how my body image changed for the positive, I'm going to contribute it to Ryan, who introduced me to the joys of mayonnaise, cheese, and full fat ice-cream, and also to having children. Having children has made me realize that they don't care how big my butt is, as long as I am a good person. They do like me to run around with them, and if I couldn't run, Ed would have been lost long ago in some store... and I want to be healthy and active. I still worry about the shape of my body, and I don't want to pass that on to Kacy or Jessie. Kacy is already concerned about what she looks like. I know from both my own experience and that of others that your family shapes the way you view yourself. I don't want to pass on a lifestyle of worry- I want my girls to be confident in who they are as a person, and not have that confidence rooted in their pants size. Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty has workbooks for moms and daughters, videos, and other great information. I want to encourage you to check it out- for yourself, for your daughters, or both.

Country Hieroglyphs

...or kid version of graffiti. Spot the "Blue's Clues" gang symbol?

Driving around with this on my car is both humbling and an honor. It means I live in the country where it snowed/rained last Sunday which caused the creek to flood the road in the usual spot. It means I have abandoned all hope at a shiny car for more than half a day. It's an honor to have such thoughtful, intelligent, dirty children- who else but little genius' would think that writing on Mom's car in the dirt, giving me "clues" to wash it, would make me so happy?

Although, the BEST was the day Ryan went to work in his patrol car with "KACY" written all over it. It makes a cop look tough with hearts drawn in the dust of his car.

Boys. Already.

Kacy's back pack as I saw it tonight, hanging up where it's supposed to be. Isn't that nice? Take a close look though. Can you see it? No?
Let me help you...
Okay, I just picked myself up off the floor. We have talked about this before, Kacy and I. Just the other day in the car she told me she loved Wyatt. I asked her why, and she said "Because he wanted someone to like him, so I said I would." I told her she wasn't allowed to have boyfriends yet, and besides, you should like someone because YOU do, not because they want you to. After I tell her about the no boyfriends until you are 18 thing, she says "Okay Mom." Then she turns to Will and tells him that she has a secret and not to tell Mom. She then writes in her notebook "I love Wyatt." Will says "Mom! Kacy has a secret!" in that truly little brother, teasing kind of way. I ask what it is, and he says, "I'm not telling!" (Oh great! I was counting on him to be my snitch!) So, in my "mommy-has-super-powers" way, I say "What is it? That Kacy loves Wyatt?"
"How did you know?" she demands.
I then proceed to turn up the radio and ponder my little girl. She didn't like what I had to say to her about boys and no boyfriends, and instead of blind obedience (can you buy that somewhere?) she continues her way of thinking in secret. I'm considering my options. Will as a snitch is obviously out of the question because those two are close. As I see it, that leaves me one choice: Ed. He's tough. He's observant. He has loyalties to no one. He loves his momma. He's smack dab in the middle of my pack so he can keep tabs on ALL of them. I'll call him "The Intimidator". It's a done deal.

Hair cuts. Aye-aye-aye.

Yes, I even took them to the store this way. Anyway, my boys woke up from a nap looking like this. Check out Ed's hair- I couldn't get it to do THAT if I wanted to. Will's doesn't look too bad in this picture, but trust me, he was due. So, out came the clippers. Even on Ed's hair- I didn't feel like using the scissors. I should have.
I think this is the shortest Ed's hair has ever been. And, it's weird. Maybe a little gel and some spikes will help it until it grows out...

Will in the Middle

Dear Will,
You are truly a middle child. And for that, I'm sorry. Sometimes I feel like you are a bit neglected in receiving my attention. Kacy is always talking and asking questions (and explaining), Ed always needs me trying to keep him safe, and Jessie is still a baby and gets to be held and cuddled all the time. You? You are funny. You do goofy dances with your body. You know all the words to Primary songs, but you will only sing "I Am a Builder" because it talks about building things. You are very observant. Today I said "Hey, that tractor looks like ours!" and you reply, "No, ours has rectangle headlights." I never noticed, but you seem to notice every little thing. Today you told me you want to be a motorcycle driver when you grow up. "Like on the hills, Mom!" You are getting ready for Kindergarten this Fall, and can't wait to go. You have been known for your "tender heart" because you are keyed into other people's emotions, and you yourself shed a tear or two (or three...) almost daily. Okay, I think it is daily. You are as stubborn as the rest of us. (Curses!) When you sit in the front seat of the car, you do things like adjust the air vents, touch all the buttons, and you crave to have the window down. You just don't understand that anything below 40 degrees is just too cold, even for the driveway. You put the sun visor down and adjust the mirror so you can see behind us. You still don't like to wear graphics on your shirts. You are becoming a good worker and helper. You are growing up nicely, and I can count on you to be a good example (most of the time). I'm sorry you seem to have inherited some dorkiness from me- don't worry, I'll always think your dorkiness is cool! I love you, Will!
Love,
Mom

Because This Picture Makes Me Happy

We had a busy day today. And at the end of it all, on our way home, this is what Jessie looked liked. Her sippy cup and dinner are between her legs- she looks content. And, a little goofy. The goofy part is what makes me happy.

Today we went to the Pizza Barn for playgroup, where the boys made little pizzas. We came home, where I learned how to use a hammer drill. Fun times! We have 60 holes to drill. When Kacy got off the bus we made a mad dash to Bakersfield and went to Target for a new broom and some undies- Ed is GOING to wear them! No more pull-ups. Then we went to Costco. I followed a lady out the door who had one kid, one box of Pepsi, and a container of apples. I envied her restraint- she spent less than $20! Not me- I'm always THRILLED when I leave a store having spent less than $100.00.

Kacy asked me how CD's are made- how the music gets put on there. I started to explain but very quickly just told her it was magic. Because it is. How voices travel over wires and sound the same, or airwaves for that matter, and how light/lasers put info on a disc (is that even right?), and how the Internet works- it's all magic. I understand all about servers and whatnot, put honestly it is just overwhelming to my brain, so it is going in the "magic" category.

Conversations with kids.

-I pick up my nephew Benjamin, who's eight, to take him to art lessons. I have to move papers and my bag out of his way (again) so he can sit in the passenger seat.
"Aunt Karrie, why is your car always messy?"
"Because we travel a lot and have to take lots of supplies with us."
"Oh. Where did you go, Antarctica?"

-After the play, we get in the car, and the first thing Will says is "Mom, did you say OIL in the play?" I reply "Ya."
"That's so weird. OIL." And, to say OIL properly, like he did, you really have to emphasize the "oi" sound, and get a little throaty. And then laugh to yourself like it's some kind of joke that a girl would put OIL in a lamp. Because, everyone knows OIL is for motors.

-In the car I hear Kacy say "I like horses." Ed joins in the conversation:
"I like tie-yo-tees."
"You like coyotes, Ed?"
"Ya, I do."
"Why?"
"Tuz dey fast runners."
And then when he's sitting on the potty (we do that a lot right now...) I asked him why he liked coyotes again because it was so cute how he said they were fast runners. He replies: "I like dem betuz I scare them. I run fast, too."

Saturday is a Special Day...

This picture is stolen from another blog- Thanks Cori (and your mom for taking it!)

I am the one that looks like I should be haunting someone... and why do I look so huge? I'm like a giant! (I'm the giant one with my head covered, in case it wasn't obvious.)

Saturday started off with a mad dash to Bakersfield for the FARA fun run. It was fun- even though I didn't run. I took Kacy, Ed, and Jessie with me. Will stayed home with Ryan and ate a half dozen Lofthouse sugar cookies for breakfast and then helped Ryan torch some metal on the house. We barely arrived on time, because kids make me perpetually late. I had Jessie in a baby backpack- I love those things. We were at the back of the group, since I knew we'd be walking. My friend Gabby wanted to run (Go Gabby!), so she headed to the front, while Angie, Dany, Amy and I stayed behind. The lady running the thing says "On your mark, get set, GO!" while we were talking, and Ed was off like a rocket. Dany ran with him, and she estimates he ran about 1/4 of the way before heading back to find us. She was a good sport for chasing him. He was a good sport for running! Dany and Angie ended up power walking ahead of us, and Amy and the kids and I walked. Kacy kept up alright (she says she's never doing it again), and I alternated giving Ed rides every few minutes (Ed wants to go again). On her way back, Dany took Jessie in the backpack, so then I just had Ed. I carried a good 70 pounds for almost half way, and now my arms are sore. I am looking forward to doing another next month, except I'm not taking kids. I so could have jogged that thing! I hear there is one on April 25th.

The play went well, I suppose. I've heard lots of "I was impressed." and "I was pleasently surprised." Hey- us mountain folk put on a pretty good show! :) I don't really know about that, but I'm glad it's over. Like Cori, I am releived it is over, but I DID learn some stuff. Like, my heart will not quit, no matter how nervous I get. My breathing does, however. I remembered most of my lines. I had my debut/retirement solo all in one night. Ryan said I sounded "great." He's never heard me sing, and he's in my club of people who will tell me my butt looks big in my jeans, so I guess I should take that as a compliment. Still, I have a really hard time believing it. Funny for me- during the rehearsal on Friday night I got tired of standing and plopped myself on the floor. I was listening to Leslie H. sing her song, and Angie (the narrator and director) comes over to me and tells me I should sit on the floor for the play and think about whatever I was thinking because it made me look "soulful". What was in my head? I was listening to Leslie sing thinking "I stink. She sounds so good. I should quit."
I didn't quit. And I'm glad. It all turned out okay in the end. Even if it was a really difficult thing to do. Looking back a good 48 hours later, it almost seems easy and painless. Like giving birth. It hurts for a little bit, then you kinda forget.

For a good time, watch...

I'm a big fan of "The Upside Down Show". I happen to look slightly like the David (especially when my hair was short), and Shane wears an outfit that I would consider to be a power outfit for me. This movie makes me happy. My favorite is "Udder Chaos"- I can dance just like them. Be back later this week AFTER all the stuff I have going on.

Warning: Bragging about a kid (for posterity)!

Here is my oldest. She's going to be six soon, and I love her very much. She cracks me up, and in true first born daughter style, she is doing well in school. She loves going so much. Her favorite thing in school is recess so she can talk to her friends. We have parent-teacher conferences tomorrow, and I can't make it (because of Ed. He is just NOT fun in public when we have to wait for something...) so I talked to her teacher a little today. She told me the thing she is working on with Kacy is that it's okay to be wrong. She won't take risks if she thinks she might get the wrong answer. This may impede her future estimating and hypothesis skills! But really, if that is her biggest concern with Kacy, I'm happy. Her teacher also asked the kids what their addresses were, and apparently Kacy didn't know hers. Only one kid in the class knew it. When I went in to work in her classroom, one of the little girls came up to me and said "Is it really true that Kacy doesn't know her address?" Her teacher told the little girl to sit down and then turned to me and said, "I think the class is a little shocked that Kacy didn't know the answer to something." My reply was, "Well, surprise! Kacy's not perfect!" Later that day when she got off the bus, the first thing she said was "Mom! What's our address?!" I have a fellow type-A on my hands. Excellent. May she use her powers for good!

I Didn't Pass Out.

But, I wanted to. It may have been easier. I played the piano yesterday in church. Accompanying a youth choir. You know, when you play all by your lonesome, if you need to hesitate half a beat to check your fingers, you totally can. No one will really notice. BUT NOT WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE SINGING. The worst part? The very, very worst part? No amount of deep breathing and meditative thinking could stop my peddle leg from shaking uncontrollably. My right leg took on a life of it's own, performing it's own spastic dance. It was all I could do not to hit the underside of the piano with the top of my knee. Around page seven my leg calmed down, but my heart didn't. Part of me says I will NEVER do that again. Another (bigger) part of me says I should do it more often to get over this horrible fear. I'm wondering about the play next- I'm all fine and dandy during practice, until someone comes in to watch. I just want everyone coming to see me, or if you here about my "performance", NONE of us auditioned. We were duped, I tell you! There has been much grumbling on the part of the actresses (that's SO funny! "actresses") and I think there are two reasons we haven't quit: One, we aren't quitters. And two, we are having a lot of fun doing this. It's no party because the actual play night is always looming over us, but I think most of us are enjoying each other's company and we feel like we are all in the same boat. On the sea of uneasiness. In the middle of the storm called "I wish I could sing like Ariel in the Little Mermaid because then play life would be good."

Trailer Life Cake Balls

I tried something new for me. Yet, I did it the SAME OLD WAY I do things every time I try something new. I don't know if it's country life or a personal problem. Here's the story. My dad's birthday is today. We are celebrating with the family down in Bakersfield tomorrow. I called the candy store that sells yummy fudge to see when they closed. The answering machine said they closed at 4pm, so I was a bit disappointed when I arrived at 2:30pm and they were closed. Apparently they are NOT open on Saturdays at all. So, what does one do? What kind of birthday gift do you get a 50 something dad who buys himself what ever he wants? He's a mechanic by trade (although at this point in his career he is mostly "boss" on the phone) so no cheesy tools. And, he's remodeling his house. Again, no cheesy tools. (I can't afford to give the men in my life the tools they really want!) Up here we have a few hardware stores, a Vons, a Rite-aid, and some eating places. SO, I decide to try my hand at cake balls.
I have a toaster oven, so I opt to buy a cake at the store. All they had that were close to the right size were angel food cakes. I picked up a reduced sugar can of frosting because it was on sale, not because I was pre-thinking ahead about the sweetness of the cake. I dipped the things in melted chocolate chips, because the largest grocery store in 50+ square miles doesn't carry almond bark. They had a teeny-tiny "dipping chocolate" cup that was really expensive. Well, I put it all together, and I doubt these are like they are supposed to be. The middles are REALLY sweet. My cake balls are less cake and more candy. And the melted chocolate chips seemed really thick. Anyway, I "almost" follow recipes every time I do anything. Sewing? Check. Baking or cooking? Check. It seems I "make do" a lot, and no wonder it doesn't quite turn out exactly how it's supposed to. I did eat one, and they are good. If you like really sweet things. The kids sampled, and they LOVED them.
Happy Birthday Dad! You're getting cake balls for your big day! If you don't like them, give them to Mom. She's got a wicked sweet tooth. And if they are too sweet for her, give them to the grandkids. They will eat 'em up!

An Invitation

I am personally inviting you to an event. There is food involved. It's for a good cause. Following is an article written for our local paper up here by my friend effected by a genetic disease. I'll be there! I know I'm a little late for this, but it's Sat. March 21 in the morning.

Kelly Kent
Special to the Sun
Not many people have heard of Friedreich's ataxia (FA), a neuro-muscular disease that affects one in 50,000 people in the United States. Three lifetime residents of Squirrel Valley, Joe Kent, 34, Nicole Kent, 30, and Kelly Kent, 24, were diagnosed in childhood with this progressive, genetic disease. Joe, Nicole, and Kelly developed like any other child. Each reached the same early milestones as any other child would—talking, walking, etc. But over time, they began losing coordination in their arms and legs. By their early teens, they became wheelchair bound. Some of their other symptoms include: visual impairment, hearing loss, slurred speech, and scoliosis. Friedreich's ataxia has no effect whatsoever on mental capabilities. Joe and Nicole received bachelor's degrees from C.S.U.B. and B.Y.U., while Kelly remains a permanent junior at C.S.U.B. Despite having a progressive disease wreaking havoc in their family, the Kents remain positive. Humor and their faith play important roles in their lives. The family refers to themselves as ‘the Wheelchair Brigade’ and their car as ‘the Handi Van.’
In April of last year, the 2nd Annual "Race 4 Results" 5K/10K raised $11,901.60 for the FARA (Friedreich's Ataxia Research Alliance), a national, public, non-profit, tax-exempt organization dedicated to researching Friedreich’s ataxia. FARA researches FA in order to improve quality and length of life for patients and, possibly, to find a cure. At the finish line, prizes were awarded to the participants, and a bouncy house entertained children, as well as some adults. Corporate sponsors included Costco, San Joaquin Community Hospital, and Jake’s Tex Mex Restaurant.

This year the 3rd Annual "Race 4 Results" 5K/10K will take place on Saturday, March 21, at Yokuts Park in Bakersfield at 8:00 a.m. Check-in begins at 7:00 a. m. Registration for individuals is $30 and a team of four individuals is $100. The entry forms are available at bakersfieldtrackclub.com. Registration includes a T-shirt, goodie bag, and a BBQ lunch. Ending on March 13, pre-registration guarantees applicants a T-shirt. Individuals not walking/running can purchase the BBQ lunch for $6. Please join with the Kents in the fight against Friedreich's ataxia.

I'm Ready for Spring

I am ready for Spring to be here! I feel like I get more done when the weather is nice. It is still really cold here in the mornings. I take Kacy to the bus stop at 7am and it is still fairly dark. And, the last few mornings have been 25 degrees and under. Here is what is going on the last few days:

• I discovered Bakerella and her very cool cake pops. There are some done as Hello Kitty, and I am going to try it out for Kacy's birthday. If they turn out half as cute as hers, I'll be pleased. So many cute ideas- after looking at her site, I went outside and stood in my "kitchen" in our new house. I imagined all the counter space. I pictured myself making cool things and letting the kids help me. (I don't let them right now. The trailer kitchen is JUST TOO SMALL.)
  
• Ryan and I spent the day yesterday discussing windows. He went shopping today to check some out. This is after he changed his mind concerning the idea of making his own windows. I, for one, am relieved. He could do it, but making the windows would take a long time. Time is really important to me now. The reason he considered making the windows is because we want all wood windows, and the price of a double hung wood window for the size we need is $900.00 a piece. Now we are getting all wood casement windows. We know the prevailing thought is "Wood? Those are gonna rot!" and I have two replies to this: ALL of our windows will have MINIMAL exposure to moisture and sunlight, as we have a 12 foot wrap around porch. And, my grandma's house in Idaho was built in 1916, and when I was last there in 1998 or so, the all wood windows exposed to the snow and sun were still operable. They will last our life time, and whoever gets the house after us can deal with it if they need fixing. Besides, they look so good.
  
• Ed's head is on the mend, and Will came down with a mysterious fever last night. It was really high- 104.1 was the highest at one point. I have an ear thermometer and do both ears twice for an average, because if you don't get it in there just right, it's all wacky in the reading. He got a tepid shower which he thought was horribly cold, but that, and some Tylenol, did the trick. His fever now is in the 100-101 range. Much better!
  
• I am playing the piano for Ward Conference as an accompanist, and I'm stressed. It's a hard song, and as of last night I was still messing up. The kids don't care, and the chorister says I'm doing fine, but holy-moley they could use someone better! This is worse than being in the play, and for that I have to sing by myself! I think the difference is that when I sing, my voice is my voice and it's not going to get any better. I'm stuck with it. But with the piano, I know I could play better if I just practiced. Kind of hard when my piano is in storage... it's my type-A coming out.
  
• The 5k fun run I'm registered for (the morning of the play) is coming up, and I'm not confident that I'll meet my goal of being able to run the whole time without stopping. My plans for running are just not working out for me. In the back of my mind, the overly optimistic Pollyanna in me is saying "Maybe it'll be easier to run on flat pavement. Maybe running two miles in the sand with some small hills is equivalent to running three miles on pavement." Then I realize I'm only leading myself on. My friend Lisa from college once took me on a five mile run, and I balked when she suggested it. She reassured me that anyone can run for that long if they go slow enough. Well, I did it. I was behind her most of the way, especially at the end, but I ran the whole way. Too bad I'm not 18 again... but I'm glad I'm not. 18 was a mostly stupid year for me.

How can one close a head wound? Let me count the ways!

Ed sustained a head wound at church yesterday. Story: He refused to go to primary. He hung out in Primary with me. I sat down to play the piano and he ran out the door. My friend (who shall remain nameless because she feels horrible about it and I don't want to cause her anymore grief) went to chase Ed because, of course, he ran out the door. Well, she ran out the same door, and while the door was being opened Ed was running INTO it. The edge of the door clocked him on the noggin. It gave him a bit of a swollen eye, and a smallish gash that needed some medical attention. I took him across the street to the hospital, where a doctor used Dermabond to seal up the wound. Was I bothered that no gloves were worn? A tad. Anyway, after one and a half hours in the ER, he was glued up and we went back to the church for play practice. We then went to Bakersfield to visit with the family and while there his wound opened up again. I used a butterfly bandage to close it up, but after talking to Ryan, I took him to ANOTHER ER in Bako because of the nasty scar factor. This ER also has an Urgent Care attached to it, so we were triaged into the Urgent Care. That was NICE. The doctor there put in three stitches. That was NOT FUN. They mummy wrapped him in a sheet and a nurse and I held him down. He kept screaming things like "I don't like doctors! I don't need to see a doctor!" and my personal favorite "I not broken! I not broken don't fix me!" He HATES being restrained. That trip only took 2 hours (including driving time), and I'm grateful it was pretty quick! This morning he woke up and we showed Ryan his stitiches. He ate breakfast, and then when I set him on the potty, I noticed his stitches fell out. He only had three to begin with, and two of them are gone. It's not like he ripped them out- it looks like they were never there. Maybe the Dr. didn't tie the knots good enough? He'll probably have a gnarley scar, but it's in his eyebrow. Plus, he's a guy, so it adds "character", right? I really don't want to drive 1.5 hours again (one way) for a hideous doctor visit.
Some Sunday emergency room observations:

• First ER: got to sit in the labor/delivery "room". Now I know why Ryan told me to go live with my mom as my due dates neared- it was SO OLD and was a storage room with the special table. Gross.
• Met a girl and her mother who nearly blew herself up trying to light her propane heater. She has no eyebrows and was there to get her dressing changed on her arm. She recognized Ryan: "Hey, you look familiar." Ends up he had arrested her ex, who is now doing time.
  
• Second ER/Urgent Care: In the ER lobby it seemed like a party- there were seriously tons of people there with no visable signs of distress. There must have been a car crash of something, but my thought was: hanging out in the ER lobby is gross. You would be safer from all the nasty germs at home. They'll give you call if anything happens. Seriously, what can you do in the lobby? Nothing.
• I think I was in the same room with a real, live prostitute. I won't go into the details of her phone conversation I overheard ( I'm sorry, but there are certain words you hear in public and think "What? What did I just hear?"), because it would be embarassing. I know why she was there, and it had to do with a "flare-up". TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
• Ed saw a brochure with a bunch of nurses/doctors on it, and said "Hey Mom! There is a picture of you!" as he pointed to the lady with dark curly hair. I told him that wasn't me, and he said "Yes it is. She has fuzzy hair, and you have fuzzy hair."
  

Dear Ed

Dear Ed,
Today you were... well, let me just say that if you make it to three, it'll be a small miracle. Today you went with me to the doctor's office for Jessie's one year check up. She is 31 1/2 inches and 23 pounds 8 ounces. While Will and Jessie were reasonably well behaved/happy, you couldn't handle the hour+ visit. It was hard, I know. It was long for me, too. But the next time you slam open the door to run after a blue sucker after I told you "Not yet, you can have one after we are done" and then when a grab your hand to lead you back to the room, I would greatly appreciate it if you did not throw your 39 pounds on the ground to stop me. I would also appreciate it if you would not have a phantom urge to use the potty right when the doctor comes in- I'm all for you using the toilet, but when I take you, and someone is waiting for me, I need to see some results. You were good at Target while we shopped for cereal and a duffel bag. That part of our day was fairly uneventful. You did try to take off in the parking lot, and I had to use me "She is SUCH a mean mom for talking to her kid like that!" voice when I yelled "ED! Ed, STOP!" (Honestly those people who say their mother NEVER raised their voices must have also NEVER ran in every parking lot their feet touched.) So, thank-you! Then we had lunch in the car and went to Costco. You were good at Costco, too! You sat in the shopping cart and loved tasting all the samples. Your favorite samples were the pancakes and jelly beans. I think we'll just have "lunch" at the Costco sample stands the next time we go. You did freak out the ladies working there when they were scanning our full cart of food and you stood up in the seat of the cart with your arms in the air. They got really worried and said, "Ma'am! Ma'am, um can you help him?" and of course I was already on my way, but I had to jog around the whole check out stand. Next time you are getting the seat belt put around you. Once we got home, the fun stuff began. You didn't use the potty twice within an hour, even though you actually DID. You went and hid on your bed and pooped in your undies. I cleaned you up and we had this conversation about it all, and you said "Otay mom, I know poop goes in the toiwet. It's natty in my undies." Then, about 45 minutes later, you repeat. At dinner time, you stole Kacy's orange, ran around with meat, threw your fork on the ground saying "I no like forks!" and ate your plum. Then, as I was shelling hard boiled eggs, I gave you one. Because you asked so nicely. You started to eat it, and I returned to the task of peeling the eggs. I move on the the dishes, and I look up to your room and see hard boiled egg yolk smeared into the rug and all over your bed. You have now been on your bed for 40 minutes and will remain until it's time for bed (another 10 to go!). I hope that you will read this someday, as an adult, and know three things: 1) I'm glad you made it to adulthood. Because sometimes I worry. 2) You must be potty trained by now, and for that I am grateful. 3) I hope you have a child EXACTLY like you, and that you have a wife that can better handle it than me.
I love you,
Mom

How to Raise a Redneck Child

Will

No Preschool

I found out today that there will be no preschool this fall. I'm bummed. The reason is that the state awards contracts on a competitive RSA basis and new contracts have been closed for a year, and it looks like they won't open again for another year. So, maybe next fall? In the mean time, the principal I am working with is going to another district in the area. Who knows if the next principal/superintendent will want to mess with it? The state contract analyst put down my info and said she'll call when new money becomes available. Part of me says that I should go ahead and open one anyway, private sector, referring low income families to Community Connection for Child Care for subsidies. I've got a plan. A potential place. A little money. There is no preschool within 25 miles! The other part of me says that I will have two kids in school next year and might like a little quiet time. Then ANOTHER part of me says "But, you can help these poor children who come to school and don't know up from down!" and it goes on and on. Ed and Jessie could go with me. I could employ a few people. I could help some families by providing reliable, safe, high-quality child care/preschool. Or, I could relish some quiet time at home. I could grocery shop with only two kids. I am going to go contemplate my existence now. (Thinking about this will keep me up tonight. Hopefully writing it down will help calm my brain that has been analyzing every possible point for the last eight hours.)

Happy Birthday Jessie!

Jessie turned one year old yesterday! She got lots of clothes for her birthday-yay. The cute dress above was made by Jocelyn. I benefit from her having four boys in that my girls get cute dresses- she made a matching one for Kacy. Here is what Jessie is like now: she still puts everything in her mouth. She especially loves to chew on Lego tires. Her favorite foods are cheeseburgers and fries, as well as quesadillas. She has no interest in walking. She'll fight the bigger kids if she wants what they have. She is finished with bottles. She has 5 teeth- can't wait for the sixth so she's symmetrical again. She loves to be outside, and dirt doesn't bother her. I have no idea what she weighs or how tall she is- she goes to the doctor on Friday. She is super duper good in Primary (where I am every Sunday). She likes to sit on her "adopted aunt" Terrie's lap while I'm busy playing the piano or on the Sundays I have Sharing Time. She is leaving the "perfect baby" stage, and is now asserting herself. When she gets mad she throws herself back- I then put her on the floor and let her work it out herself. She seems very watchful and observant, sometimes the looks she gives me crack me up. I'm so glad she's my kid!

Oh, Ed!

Before I write about Jessie's first birthday, I would like to document what it is like to have Ed as a son right now. Let's just say that we will be lucky to be invited back to the in-laws house again. The only thing he didn't do is write on the walls.

Yesterday in church, as someone was praying, I dutifully told him to fold his arms and close his eyes, as I did. He had his hand in his pants (he was wearing undies-upon his insistence- and has a fascination with scratching his bootie.) As I was concentrating on who knows what, Ed pulls his hand out of his pants and puts his hand by my face. "Here Mom, mell my pinger." Gross. So stinkin' gross.