Dear Ed

Dear Ed,
Today you were... well, let me just say that if you make it to three, it'll be a small miracle. Today you went with me to the doctor's office for Jessie's one year check up. She is 31 1/2 inches and 23 pounds 8 ounces. While Will and Jessie were reasonably well behaved/happy, you couldn't handle the hour+ visit. It was hard, I know. It was long for me, too. But the next time you slam open the door to run after a blue sucker after I told you "Not yet, you can have one after we are done" and then when a grab your hand to lead you back to the room, I would greatly appreciate it if you did not throw your 39 pounds on the ground to stop me. I would also appreciate it if you would not have a phantom urge to use the potty right when the doctor comes in- I'm all for you using the toilet, but when I take you, and someone is waiting for me, I need to see some results. You were good at Target while we shopped for cereal and a duffel bag. That part of our day was fairly uneventful. You did try to take off in the parking lot, and I had to use me "She is SUCH a mean mom for talking to her kid like that!" voice when I yelled "ED! Ed, STOP!" (Honestly those people who say their mother NEVER raised their voices must have also NEVER ran in every parking lot their feet touched.) So, thank-you! Then we had lunch in the car and went to Costco. You were good at Costco, too! You sat in the shopping cart and loved tasting all the samples. Your favorite samples were the pancakes and jelly beans. I think we'll just have "lunch" at the Costco sample stands the next time we go. You did freak out the ladies working there when they were scanning our full cart of food and you stood up in the seat of the cart with your arms in the air. They got really worried and said, "Ma'am! Ma'am, um can you help him?" and of course I was already on my way, but I had to jog around the whole check out stand. Next time you are getting the seat belt put around you. Once we got home, the fun stuff began. You didn't use the potty twice within an hour, even though you actually DID. You went and hid on your bed and pooped in your undies. I cleaned you up and we had this conversation about it all, and you said "Otay mom, I know poop goes in the toiwet. It's natty in my undies." Then, about 45 minutes later, you repeat. At dinner time, you stole Kacy's orange, ran around with meat, threw your fork on the ground saying "I no like forks!" and ate your plum. Then, as I was shelling hard boiled eggs, I gave you one. Because you asked so nicely. You started to eat it, and I returned to the task of peeling the eggs. I move on the the dishes, and I look up to your room and see hard boiled egg yolk smeared into the rug and all over your bed. You have now been on your bed for 40 minutes and will remain until it's time for bed (another 10 to go!). I hope that you will read this someday, as an adult, and know three things: 1) I'm glad you made it to adulthood. Because sometimes I worry. 2) You must be potty trained by now, and for that I am grateful. 3) I hope you have a child EXACTLY like you, and that you have a wife that can better handle it than me.
I love you,
Mom