I Didn't Pass Out.

But, I wanted to. It may have been easier. I played the piano yesterday in church. Accompanying a youth choir. You know, when you play all by your lonesome, if you need to hesitate half a beat to check your fingers, you totally can. No one will really notice. BUT NOT WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE SINGING. The worst part? The very, very worst part? No amount of deep breathing and meditative thinking could stop my peddle leg from shaking uncontrollably. My right leg took on a life of it's own, performing it's own spastic dance. It was all I could do not to hit the underside of the piano with the top of my knee. Around page seven my leg calmed down, but my heart didn't. Part of me says I will NEVER do that again. Another (bigger) part of me says I should do it more often to get over this horrible fear. I'm wondering about the play next- I'm all fine and dandy during practice, until someone comes in to watch. I just want everyone coming to see me, or if you here about my "performance", NONE of us auditioned. We were duped, I tell you! There has been much grumbling on the part of the actresses (that's SO funny! "actresses") and I think there are two reasons we haven't quit: One, we aren't quitters. And two, we are having a lot of fun doing this. It's no party because the actual play night is always looming over us, but I think most of us are enjoying each other's company and we feel like we are all in the same boat. On the sea of uneasiness. In the middle of the storm called "I wish I could sing like Ariel in the Little Mermaid because then play life would be good."