I'm in a bit of a motherhood funk. I need some kind of inspiration to be a more fun mom. I feel like 99% of the time I'm telling the kids to not do something, or to put something away, or asking them "What were you thinking when you did that?" I think living in the trailer doesn't help: all the fun things I think would make me the "fun mom" that I want to be involve things like a table and chairs to sit at (games, coloring together, crafts), a kitchen (cooking with the kids), or floor space (playing with toys). And because the kids are seemingly always in my face (literally- the trailer is very small) I have been using my computer as a mental retreat. That's not always a good thing. I tend to ignore them, and this last two weeks have been filled with TV watching for them.The weather has been so twitchy lately; last night it snowed, and was so windy. It's been too cold for them to play outside. I am looking forward to the time change for the evenings, and a little warmer weather. I have plans to help me be more active in my children's lives. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY proactive in telling them to put their underwear on the right way and whatnot. I just don't spend a lot of time interacting with them in a fun way. I used too... I guess I lost my motherhood mojo.
Here are my plans:
1)Find my patience.
2)Purchase a soccer ball and teach my kids how to kick.
3)Purchase gloves and a ball, and practice throwing and catching.
4)Practice roping our fake steer.
5)Turn off the computer in the evenings, limiting myself to an hour and half in the mornings when Sesame Street and Chuggington is on.
I need to be more mentally present. My kids need more smiles from me. Coming across blogs where the mom does all these wonderful things like decorating and crafts, with their kids looking perfectly presentable doesn't help my brain. It's just one of those times when I'm going to have to hitch up my boot straps and hang in there for six more months. One day at a time. Then, I have a feeling things will ease up a little. The house should be done. I'll have a husband with one full time job (instead of two) back. I'll have room to move around, and the kids will have room to move around. We'll have a table to sit at as a family. An oven. A full size fridge and freezer. Laundry. A filing cabinet. And the best of all: closets. Ah, to have a closet...
If you want to know what it's like living in an RV trailer with four kids under the age of seven, go section off a 10x30 area of your home. Include the bathroom, but don't use a full size tub. Put all your kids' toys as well as everything you need for living in that space. Don't forget a hot plate to cook on! Now, multiply by 1642 days. Woot! There's the trailer life for ya. (Actually, I have two burners.)
182 more days to go...