Yesterday, in the course of eight hours, Ed did the following:
- Uses two pairs of scissors to open a jelly packet. In my bedroom.
- Spills tomato soup all over the kids table, the floor, and Kacy. Because he is running and falls over Will. Whom he is chasing. In our trailer.
- He spills juice in the bathroom. I hear, "Oopsie- daisy. (Pause) Uh, Mom? I need a wittle help here."
- He falls off the couch and hurts his arm.
- He falls down the three stairs we have and hurts his body. Because he is jumping from the top.
- He puts his boots on to go outside, realizes they are full of dirt, takes them off and proceeds to dump the dirt onto the floor. He looks up at me when he realizes that what he did wasn't quite right, brushes some of the dirt around with his hand and with eyes averted mumbles, "Well, it's not too bad." (It IS bad! VERY BAD. I had just mopped the night before.)
- He plays with a tape measure (that I've taken away from him once already) and stretches it up and up and up... and into the ceiling fan. It was on. Try it. But watch your fingers and everyone's heads around you. Fair warning.
- And last, but not least, he finds my dull kitchen scissors and gives Jessie a haircut.
- Oh, but wait! While I'm trying my best not to kill him, I notice he had also cut his already short hair. He has a bald spot right on top of his head.
By this time I am laughing maniacally. My friend Marcie has this saying that if you don't laugh, you cry, so you might as well laugh. I agree.
Especially because Ed got a "punishment" that was just perfect: a haircut. He hates them, they are "ITCHY!!!," and so he was NOT HAPPY for a whole 20 minutes. (You know I could have possibly had his head shaved in ten minutes...)
(FYI-Jessie's hair looks a little layered in spots. It'll need a little trimming up, but not too bad. The hair on the floor and the chunks that fell out while in the shower made me worried, but it looks *okay*.)