Welcome to my little ol' blog. I'll be upfront about it: I don't blog very often any more. If you found your way here because you read my book "Trailer Life," have a gander! But it's easier to keep up with me on Instagram or on my Facebook page. I have this long, drawn out theory on why I'm a terrible blogger, but that is a story for another day. Enjoy the ramblings of my life from the last 8 years or so.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Confessions from "Mom of the Year"

Surely I deserve the mom of the year award for this one.

Not really.

Will takes his lunch from home to school. He tends not to eat much of it. Usually he'll eat just the crackers or chips, with maybe a bite taken out of his sandwich. He told me on Tuesday that he traded his crackers for a Rice Krispy Treat. I said, "Thank-you for being honest. Please don't trade food anymore." (Thinking he ate his fruit and sandwich.)

Well, the next morning when I opened up his lunchbox to refill it, the Rice Krispy treat wrapper was in there. So were his orange slices and an entire uneaten sandwich.

I was M-A-D. The kids is skinny, and he comes home from school famished! (Because he's not eating!)

So, I do the only thing I know. I threaten. I threaten to come down to the school and eat lunch with him. I tell him I will bring a bib, and a knife and fork, and I'll feed him myself and talk baby talk. Like, "Here little Willie, take this iddy-biddy bite of your sandwich so you can gwow big and stwong..." I also named names to call attention to this activity. I threw out a few of the other boys' names in his class saying, "I'll even go, 'Hey Seth, hey Matthew! Look at Will, poor wittle boy can't eat his wittle sandwich so his mommy had to come down and feed him."  I said this in my most evil, squinty-eyed, scrunched up nose kind of way, with that low hiss of a voice I reserve for times when my sentences begin with "So help me if I have to pull this car over..."  Will was mortified at the idea, and he even started to cry. I told him all of this would happen either "today or tomorrow." (I'm scary!)

Later that day I showed up at the school. For lunch!

Jessie and I sat at the table where the home lunch kids sit. Ed came in first, and was awestruck. Kacy came in and was THRILLED that I was there and wants me to come back again. She told me, "Will didn't think you would come. He told me at the bus stop, 'Mom's not really going to come.'" Ha ha ha! She was giggling. She's a little evil, too.

Will's class came in last. He saw me, he was mortified, and he had THAT LOOK on his face. The look is one of "Holy Crap. I wish I could melt into the ground and disappear forever." I asked him to sit by me, and I watched him eat his lunch. While he ate, we all chatted around the table.

I told him "Don't think I won't come down here. Next time the bib is coming with me."

Then I gave him a hug and told him to go play and have fun.

Gotta love my kids. All of them. They take turns being crazy, and I appreciate the rotation they seem to be on. I don't know what I would do if they all had drama on the same day.


  1. Mom of the year in my book! Way to go following through.

  2. That is awesome! Maybe I should use that on Warren, who INSISTS that I pack him a lunch every day because he doesn't like the school food, yet every day the lunch box comes home with everything I packed pretty much untouched.