My kids make me laugh and cry in equal amounts. This insane laughter and insane frustration cancels each other out, thereby creating sanity. I think.
Yesterday, we passed a man sitting on the curb by the gas station. Will, who happens to still be fascinated with hobos asks me, "Hey Mom, was that a hobo?" I replied that I was driving and didn't see him, so I didn't know. We then pull into that gas station for an emergency after school run for snacks, and before we get out of the car, Will states, "Grandma Sorensen is definitely NOT a hobo."
No, no she's not.
Growing up would have been so much more interesting if she had been, though. (But I'm grateful it wasn't.) Grandma Sorensen is like the anti-hobo. If there was such a person.
While sitting in Carl's Jr last night for dinner (shush yourself. I do feed my children nutritious meals 95% of the time. Yesterday was a 5%!), Ed looks over at a sign on the wall and starts to read it. I should mention first that Ryan kicked Ed and Will out of our booth and made them sit in the booth adjacent to us. They were both squirrely acting. Back to the sign. Ed starts reading it, and he's all, "Aqua...aquapant limit? What the heck is an aquapant limit? Mom! What are aquapants?" He was seriously confused, and I was cracking up. But that isn't that funny. The next thing is better.
The next thing: Still at Carl's Jr., and Will decides he needs to use the bathroom again. I tell Ryan to take him, and Ryan tells Ed to take him. Buddy system and all. I was 80% okay with this decision, because I had been somewhat monitoring the customers in the store, we were in a very nice town (not Bako!), where even the Walmart employees are all super helpful and nice (and clean), and they were using the buddy system. The 20% of my brain was in "mom mode" though, and a slightly paranoid mother, I am. Part of me dreads becoming a story on the news about how my children were abducted or molested because I wasn't watching them. I know. You don't have to say anything.
So, we were finishing up and the boys are in the bathroom together. After a few minutes, we hear Ed scream. Not in a scary way, exactly, but he was definitely screaming. We looked at each other for a few seconds, and there it was again. I go into "Someone is molesting my child!" mode and very rudely tell Ryan to hurry up and go check on them. (Sorry honey. I'm mental.) Of course he goes, and I'm confident his super manliness will beat the living daylights out of whoever is messing with my kids. He comes back two seconds later trying not to laugh. I ask what was going on, and he tells me that he opened the door, and the boys just looked at him like, "What?!?" Apparently the floor length urinal was just too much fun. They were all excited about peeing on the floor. The screams were screams of incredulous wonder at the urinal that allowed them to pee on the floor.
Cheaper than Disneyland, I tell ya.