Welcome to my little ol' blog. I'll be upfront about it: I don't blog very often any more. If you found your way here because you read my book "Trailer Life," have a gander! But it's easier to keep up with me on Instagram or on my Facebook page. I have this long, drawn out theory on why I'm a terrible blogger, but that is a story for another day. Enjoy the ramblings of my life from the last 8 years or so.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Little League Season, Bully Problems, Finishing Law School, and Trailer Life...in that order.

If the title of this post is any indication, life this month is in full swing. Two little league teams going on...and guess who the team mom is for both? That's right, people. This girl, who was just mentioning how awesome it was that I was able to sit back and relax and the teams didn't look like they needed help! Haha. Then they both asked me (on different days) to be the team mom. I'm totally cool with that though, because sitting for too long makes my butt hurt. This way, I get to know the boys a bit, help them keep the dugout clean, make the snack list, AND know the schedule first!  It's a good job. I like it.

We are basically going to put about 10,000 miles on my car in in the next two months. Luckily, next year it looks like both boys can play on the same team, so this will be the difficult year. I could give or take kid sports, but I have one child who needs it. He totally, completely, NEEDS something outside of his family that will help give him a bit of confidence. This child is super sensitive, and very passive. This makes him an easy target for put-downs, and the last two weeks the put-downs at school have also come with kicks, hits, shoves, and pushes to the ground. Oh, it's hard to watch. I already made the big mom mistake by telling the kid who has called him names and won't leave him alone for the last year that I was going to call his mom. And...I did. Total mom interference.

It is so interesting how my three kids respond to this the same types of behavior. One is totally above the fray...she is so looked up to and mellow that she isn't even a part of the "kids can be mean" scene. Like, other kids ask for her help and guidance when they are having issues. She is 11 going on 40. Another child is so goofy (and tall for his age) that things roll right off his back. He's like, "Wha?!? Whatever." And then he goes and he does. He was a little upset that a few of his friends wouldn't let him play their zombie game at recess because he beat boxes too much and it annoys them. His solution: I'll go play over there, no biggie. My solution? Maybe you shouldn't beatbox all the time...it annoys your family sometimes, too! The other child would just literally kick the snot out of anyone who said anything mean to her or her family. I won't be surprised if I get called from the principal's office for that one one day.

But my timid kid, oh, it hurts. I hope he believes me when I say that he will be the boss someday, and not in jail. Lol. I hope he believes me that he can be a bit assertive, using a loud voice to tell the person to stop. I hope today he takes my advice and searches out the bully to locate him, and then stays as far away as possible at all times, so this kid and his friends don't have the opportunity to push him to the ground. In a really small school, that is sometimes hard to do. We are practicing at home, using an assertive voice and saying things like, "Stop!" and "Leave me alone, _________!" Loud enough to get other people's attention and make the kid think twice. Problem is, my kid gets all tongue tied and would rather look at the ground. This is something to work on, for sure...because he has dreams for his future, and part of those dreams requires he be not afraid of people. Still hard to watch. Going to school everyday to be called an "F-ing _______" (fill in the blank) and other words that he won't even repeat or spell for me because they are so bad. I just hope he comes out on top. I think baseball will be good for that. The other kids who play are nice kids. They just are. It is a safe place to make mistakes (like strike out or have a grounder go through your legs...oops!). The coaches and other male volunteers are helping the boys and talking to them respectfully, and setting a good example for them. Also, there are boys from the other schools on the team, and these kids will all be in high school together. It will be nice if my boys know the other nice kids because it gives them options. When you go to a school with one class per grade, and you are with the same 23 kids year after year, things can get a little weird that way. I love my small school, but the one teacher per grade is a drawback. Those kids don't ever get a break from each other.

I have a lot to learn. Still. I thought by this age I would be kind of more perfect, you know? I'm totally not and it is super frustrating. I have this vision of my perfect self (behavior wise, not body wise) and I'm just not there.

I am doing a super good job of halfheartedly studying for law school finals. Wish me luck and anti-procrastination thoughts. I received my bar review materials on Monday, and the box weighed 47 pounds. Yes...like a Kindergartner. Heaven help me.

Lastly, my book "Trailer Life" is a weird creature. I am a weird creature. I don't know what I expected, really. Fame and fortune? No. But hey...a 1000 copies sold in the first month would have been nice. Instead it is more like...well, let's just say I think my dad is my biggest fan. He bought four copies because he said, "You never know." He's right. You never know if you might need paper to start a fire with. But hey, I got the BEST review from a complete stranger! It was awesome. Cousin Aimee from Texas passed it along to me. And hey...my average star rating on Goodreads in a 4.5 out of 5. Ha ha...based on 2 ratings, but one of those ratings was from a stranger and she gave it 5 stars! I should share that my first review was 2 stars on Amazon and the person hated my book. When you do something out of your comfort zone and then someone tells you it stinks, it is not very heartwarming. In fact, it gave me a feeling like, "I should pull all copies now. Before anyone else happens to read it and I embarrass myself further." It's that same feeling I'll wake up with on those occasions I have dreamed I was naked and people could see me. It is mortifying and terribly uncomfortable. Extremely difficult. Like, possible the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done.

Except that one time I was in this play and I had to semi-act and SING a song in front of the people at my church. They all love me enough that it should have been like singing in front of family, but hot dang, that was super hard. I have video of it and refuse to watch it. Anyways, this whole book thing is hard. I don't think I will do it again. Except that I had this thought that maybe I will after I am done with the bar. Call it "Cookie Life?" Because I love cookies, and for 7 years I couldn't make them. N oven. But that's all I do now in the house.  Do I stay in a niche style (personal narrative/humorous memoir) or do I branch out a little? What to do...what to do?

Oh, I know. Study for the bar so I can be a lawyer already. Sheesh! Off I go. I'm going to go walk some laps while I listen to some school stuff. It's a passive way to study, but it gets my off my duff.

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