Feelings

I constantly have a song in my head...or bits and pieces of one, and this is the song for today. I'm changing the words a little, but I LOVE IT. It's so dramatic, it's funny. I think I may have enjoyed lip syncing this bad boy in the back of my mom's brown diesel Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme in the early 1980's. 

I read an interesting blog post about how Facebook and social media in general has created this expectation that everyone's post is an indication of their general well being. This expectation is not giving us the leeway to be authentic because we are judging people based on one slice of time. So, if I post something funny, I must be enjoying life. If I post something thoughtful, I must be feeling pensive and maybe things are not okay. And if I post something outright negative, the assumption is that I must be spiraling towards depression, or I'm a Negative Nelly, and no one wants to hear about that stuff anyways.

Being a secret philosopher (I like to call myself a "philosophizer" because I hate the idea of philosophy, but I do love to think about "what ifs" and "whys"), I have been pondering this post, this idea that we as people tend to capture moments in a snapshot of time, a small slice of time, and then base our ideas and impressions off those slices of time. 

People feel a whole range of emotions, all the time. I just don't think we are very good at accepting that fact. We want people to be happy. I like to be happy. But sometimes, we feel other things. It can make us look weak, or befuddled, or even a bit crazy. 

I could write a whole lot more on this subject, but I have to refrain. I have other things to do at the moment. I needed to get this song and these thoughts out of my head so I can concentrate on the finer points of the Federal Rules of Evidence and the contrast between the CA Rules of Evidence, which I hate, by the way. I am FEELING a whole host of emotions, have for the last six months, and probably will for another year.

The most important feeling for me is the feeling of peace. I love the feeling of fun and laughter, that is my favorite. But the underlying feeling of peace is much more reliable and long lasting. I have that feeling of peace. I broke through some inner turmoil, and I have peace. I have accepted my fate, if you will, and I actually feel pretty good about it. 

Now if I could just convince everyone who is so sure of my success that they need to chill the heck out because they don't know that instead of studying I write random blog posts and read Facebook, or even better, update my Hay Day Farm!

Now, back to it. For while I have accepted what is to come in a very much zen-like fashion, I'm not a quitter. I'm not going to sabotage my efforts. Because quitting now won't help me much this next February. 

I am seriously a one track mind right now. I hate it. Oh, well! Life is good nonetheless. Keep on truckin'!